• F R I Y A Y •
Can I take a minute to do a little happy dance?
Seriously, I feel as though I have smashed through so many issues this week. It has been #worldmentalhealthday2018 this week and having done it’s job, it also made me more “aware” of the issues with my own mental health.
There have been 7 appointments this week I would’ve cancelled in the past as they felt too overwhelming. 3 of which were yesterday, and although a normal person wouldn’t think twice about it, other than maybe, that was a busy day, I felt like a champion at the end of yesterday.
Couple that with the fact my monthly has just arrived this morning and I am now gobsmacked I managed what I did yesterday.
I also met up with an old friend Wednesday and saw another old friend at Isis’ parents evening. The fear alone of seeing people I used to know when I’ve put on so much weight due to mobility issues (and more recently, lack of self-control and finding comfort in food when I’m tired after moving last month) was enough to make me cancel seeing people, never mind the crippling anxiety that frequently accompanied it.
However, it doesn’t seem to be rearing it’s head. James is attending a men’s conference tomorrow which means I’m solo parenting with a couple of things in the diary in the past I would absolutely NOT do on my own. Yet, I insisted he attended the conference and was able to have some input for himself (wisdom and friendship) while I struggle through. Now this flippin’ monthly has arrived today, that means tomorrow will be my most painful day (can leave me bed ridden most months) but I am determined to push through.
I’m not sure if I’m getting stronger or healing is happening but I feel so pleased with these small victories. To onlookers they’re nothing, to me, they’re numerous in a very short time and I wanted to shout about it, have it to look back on when I’m having a hard day. So yeah, today, today I feel like a WARRIOR and I’m telling the world about it.